Summarizing Summer – So Far

I had a rude, rude, rude awakening this morning. Funny, I just saw a post of Facebook about how smoke alarm batteries only ever fail in the middle of the night. Right? Truth. The last place I lived in, the smoke alarm closest to my bedroom was in the hallway. With vaulted ceilings, and someone, some demented soul, positioned the smoke alarm about nine feet up above the top step of a very steep staircase. Mortals could not reach the smoke alarm. A ladder did no good because the alarm was on a wall suspended over the top step by a really frightening distance. I seriously considered killing the 9-volt powered apparatus with a 9 mm! Finally, while my daughter and son-in-law were visiting, they performed some type of Cirque de Soleil maneuver involving a ladder, a really strong former wrestler (my son-in-law) and my tiny daughter with incredible guts and balance. I wish I had a picture. Anyway, so, this morning, before 6:00 AM, at precisely the same time, the smoke alarm in my bedroom beeps deafeningly loud and the city garbage truck upended our wine and beer bottle burdened trashcan. I’ve been wide awake ever since.

I’ve taken a few days to sort of regenerate brain cells (that doesn’t really happen, does it). I’ve taken a few days to adjust to the diminished number of brain cells I have remaining. Today was the first day, though, that I feel I got a measurable amount accomplished since “it all ended”. What ended? Summer, so far. Just a brief hiatus between the summer that has fled past and the summer yet to happen. A calm in the storm, I suppose.

So, yah, I got a lot accomplished today, but getting all the way ready wasn’t one of them. I was finally fully dressed and had my thirty second makeup regime applied at 6:04 PM, an only because I had an appointment with my aesthetician, otherwise, I’d probably still be in my enormously comfie Pink sweatpants and a Target brand “wife beater”. I have a whole collection. I buy every single one of the cute, printed Target brand “wife beaters” when they go on sale at the end of the season for $4. Then I carefully wash them on the gentle cycle and hang them dry so they’ll last FOREVER! I have zillions.

I get to my aesthetician and discover, I don’t have underpants on. They’re such a bother. I hate panty lines and, frankly, they just don’t make undies for an ass like mine. So I go without. Unless I have an appointment with someone who expects me to wear them; massage therapist, aesthetician, doctor. Oops. Oh well, who knows you better than your aesthetician? No one, that’s who. They see you in a light no one else ever will, except maybe your gynecologist. But an aesthetician is like a hair stylist, they chat with you and they know your whole story. More than anyone else, between the conversation and the bright light and, shall we say, “the area of focus”. So, she knows I go commando. Whatever. I told her all about my summer, so far …

So. Oh. My. Goddessness. It has been a very busy summer, and it isn’t near over. Not that I want it to be. I am sitting here a) trying to figure out how in the world I can remember everything I’ve done this summer b) best summarize it all and c) drinking a “detox tea”. Yes, that’s what I meant by struggling to remember it all!

Fortunately, I take lots of pictures, and even better, the more I party, the more pictures I take. I have been flipping back through my pics for the season, which hasn’t been so easy. I have so many pictures that my computer has been rendered nearly inoperable. I finished up a couple of video projects, you may have seen them, and cleared a little space. Now I’m tripping through my trippy summer trips a la the iPhoto stroll ‘n’ scroll.

I’ve been places, I’ve stayed home, I’ve been a tourist in my own town, and if I had to summarize summer in five words they would be; beer, wine, food, Excedrin Migraine (aka “Excedrin Hangover”), and peopleILove (In know, that’s three words in one). Now, for a time of atonement, my pants are tight, my minds not right, I’m quite a sight. Time, I guess, for a little detox, maybe some sleep, and some sorting, compiling and sharing. Starting with this … just a glimpse at the debauchery.


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